Lost In Time

Today is Miles' 4th birthday. I just can't believe that my little baby is 4. He's not a baby anymore. 3 was still a baby, a toddler. But 4! 4 is almost 5 which means kindergarten and on to many years of school. 4 means he's a little boy and he's learning and he's smart. 4 is a whole new ballgame. I remember being pregnant with him and how wonderfully exhilarating it was. Was I having a boy or a girl? When would baby arrive? It was so exciting to be pregnant and imagine our little one and how our lives would change forever. And I have to say I have not been disappointed! Oh how he's changed our lives in the most amazing ways! I remember the night I went into labor and every seemingly detail of that event. The vomiting, the pain of labor and after 15 hours, deciding he wasn't coming the way we had planned and having a c-section instead. At 4:38pm, he was born. I remember that he used to fall asleep on us for hours. I remember his paci's and how he would have 3 or 4 of them at a time. I remember how he would dance to any beat there was. I remember how he would smile and laugh and yell. I remember how he would run back to his room when it was time for bed. I remember that he was always a good napper and a decent sleeper at night. I do however remember sleeping with him in a chair in the living room when he was teeny tiny because he did not want to lay down without me. I remember crying in the middle of the night because I didn't know how to soothe him. I remember his wild curly hair and his first hair cut-it made him look like such a little boy instead of a baby. I remember how I cried when I first left him at daycare. I remember his first steps at Nana and Grampie's house at Christmas time. I remember that Miles never made me mad until he was 2. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. I remember when he started wanting bug-bugs. I remember how he was always running and jumping and just hasn't stopped since! I remember the giggles, the smiles, the special moments and I treasure them dearly. Miles made me a mommy. He's made me worry like I never thought I would and laugh like I never thought I could. He's made me love more than I thought was possible and cry over reasons I never imagined. He's made my life transform in more ways than I can even count or acknowledge and I can't thank him enough. He's a special special son with a huge heart and eyes that glisten. He has a love of life and a gentleness about him that makes my heart melt. Yes, he can be challenging too, but that's ok. We'll get there together. We'll learn together, and we'll always be there for him. I love him forever and ever with my whole heart no matter what. It's been a wonderful 4 years and I'm excited about the future for him and with him!