Dog-Dog

These kiddos...they make my heart happy! Have you ever felt like your heart might actually burst because it's so full? I hope you have. It's an amazing feeling. They make me so happy, I can't describe it. We all have our struggles, yes, but sometimes, in the right light, everything is ok, even if it's only for a moment.

I left work on my lunch hour today to go run and passed the gardener, who likes to talk. The condensed version was that he was happy he was working and was feeling good and useful. He commented that it's really nice when God works with you, things are then ok. I smiled and nodded, but thought to myself that I think he has it backwards. It's nice when we work with God, then things are ok. God is always working with us, it's only a matter of us being receptive, open, and willing to follow Him. Then we're a team and we're following His plan.

Green eggs and milk for St. Patty's Day

The kids have been up to so much these days, let me see if I can get it all down. Miles is growing by leaps and bounds. He's begun playing more and more by himself, inventing little games and playing with his toys. It isn't until he catches me watching him that he solicits me to play with him. He's into making up games, and loves to play "Friends". For example, in the bath, he'll ask me if I want to play Dolphin Friends. To play Dolphin Friends, you each have a washcloth and pretend to be dolphin friends (tricky, right?!). He also plays Motorcycle Friends, Car Friends, and any other kind of friend that fits into the situation. He's also into pretending he's a kitty again. He used to do this when he was a bit younger, but now it's back. He likes to say "Mommy, I'm a very sweet, soft, nice baby kitty. And I can stand and walk and talk." He likes for me to be the teacher and he's the kitty in the classroom. We often play show-and-tell for a minute. Miles' vocabulary is also picking up little boy terms. Not sure how I feel about that! First, he tries to incorporate "booty" and "coo-coo" whenever he can. We highly discourage them both, especially the booty talk. He has also added "that's not fair!", "nana-nana-boo-boo" and "uuuhhh" (as in a sarcastic little boy version of "ewww").

Cousin Emmett sent Miles goodies from his bday party!

I decided to try to sell some of my too-big clothes on Craig's List, just to see if I could get anything. If not, no biggie, I'll just donate them somewhere. Well, I had some interest and a lady and her 6-year old son came over on Saturday to look at some things. She ended up trying on almost everything I had and the boys were playing nicely. I even gave her son a Popsicle! (she ended up being here over an hour!) Well, at one point, her son was trying to play with a car set Miles as and Hailey was very interested in it. Hailey was trying to take a car or a sign or something and the boy kept making comments about her leaving things alone. Miles wasn't there at that moment, but when he came back over, the boy asked Miles if he could make her go away. Miles simply said, "She's ok, she can play". I was so proud. I told him later that I was proud of him sticking up for his sister and that's what big brothers do. I'm not sure he got it completely, but that's ok.

Playing bad guys with Nana

Hailey. Hailey, Hailey, Hailey. She is something else and cracks me up on a daily basis. She is just so stinking cute! She has gotten 2 new teeth since I last posted and may be working on more (suspected by her restlessness at night lately). She clearly says "dog-dog" in reference to a dog (or a cat, or a squirrel) and will sometimes "woof" at it. She has also started saying "no-no" although she's just saying it right now, not actually to say "No" to something. She's saying "Bubble" and I've heard "bye-bye" a few times. Now, my mom swears she heard all types of words when we last visited (such as "bad guy" and "siren"), but I'm not so sure! (Sorry mom!) She has moved up to the 1-year old room at daycare and is now napping only once a day there and is also napping on a cot. I can't even imagine my little baby on a cot! They say she does wonderfully though. I bet she does, by 12:30, I'm sure she's beat! She completed her first paper from school, managing to get a few different colored scribbles and dots on a coloring page. It's proudly displayed on the frig along with all Miles' wonderful papers.

Hailey doesn't miss out!

We are working diligently on weaning as well. I've been kinda working on it, but discovered that we weren't making much progress. She had dropped her morning nursing pretty easily and I'd been happy with that. But after dress shopping for my cousin's upcoming wedding, I realized that my dress had no access, so that meant no nursing! I decided it was time to step it up. Last week and then again today, we've managed to skip the nursing session when she gets home from school. So, we are just down to before bed and when she wakes during the night. Even over the weekend, she didn't really ask and only nursed once or twice. We are getting there. It's very bitter sweet.

Batter's up!

We had a great time the other weekend visiting my parents, but were disappointed we didn't really have time to visit any of our friends. Maybe next time! We even went on a date. Yup, our 4th in 4 years (and 3 of those have been within the last year!). We had dinner at Tumbleweed, an awesome Tex-Mex place. They don't have one in Indy, but they do in Terre Haute, where we went to college and met. We used to hit up 99 cent margarita nights (I think Wednesdays) pretty regularly and always had a blast. Even though I couldn't get one, Ahmad got one big enough for the both of us! It was nice. Of course mom and dad had fun keeping the kids. I think that's the first time we let them. Dad even made it into the basement to play balls on the pool table with Miles. Miles loved it! And mom played outside with both the kids and I think Hailey had her first ketchup experience. I'm sure it was all very entertaining!

Miles and Grampie played "Big Monkey/Little Monkey"

I have to admit, I did feel a bit like a bad mom for a minute. My mom and I were giving the kids a bath in their ginormous tub. Hailey peed as soon as I took off her diaper, but it went on the floor, no problem. Later in the bath, she had a little diarrhea. We drained the water and refilled the huge tub. As soon as she got in, she peed again. I remember the doctor telling us that pee was sterile and pee in the tub was ok. I know it's not the most desirable, but at this point, all I wanted to do was finish the bath. I got Hailey done, but Miles wouldn't get in. I kept trying to talk him into it until he said "Mommy, I don't want to take a bath in pee pee". What could I say? I didn't either! So, we drained it again and filled it a tiny bit for him to finish. 3 baths in 1!

I see lots of dress up days in our future!

The spring weather has been wonderful this past week or so. We've loved being outside again in the evenings and Hailey has just a blast. Both kids bolted through the door and garage tonight after dinner with the kids-like excitement of being released from a long winter inside. They were both full of giggles. We've enjoyed playing with Elliott and Meredith again and Miles has been riding is new Spiderman bike. Hailey is riding a little 3-wheel bike of Merediths and loves to play in the dirt. Miles, not so much. He doesn't like getting too dirty, but I think Hailey's going to love it! And tonight, she played Ring Around the Rosie for the first time. She loved it! It was so cute. She also tried chasing down the neighbor's cat, clapping her hands and trying to make kissing noises to lure them closer. Of course it didn't work, but that's ok. She's got all summer to perfect it! We also enjoyed our old neighbor's daughter (Robyn) 3rd birthday party yesterday. It was a ton of fun, but interesting because outside of a 7-8 year old boy, they were all little girls. For the first time, Miles stood out and played with the dads. It was interesting to see this new development in him. He did play catch with one of the girls for a while and joined in the bike parade led by Ahmad, but in general, he kind of kept to himself.

Sporting their new bike helmets!

I am so excited for this spring and summer! I can't wait. And I can't wait to see what my little ones do next. They are so exciting and full of surprises, I just don't know. I love every minute of it though and I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Skip To My Lou

The kids are getting so big, so fast! I cannot believe how much they fill our lives and our hearts with love and joy. They are always into something new and making us smile. Miles had an incredibly awesome month of February at school, still maintaining his stance that now that he's 4, he's good. As a reward at the end of the month, we got him a new bike-a Spiderman bike! He needed a new one this spring anyway and we'd been talking about when to look. I looked around on Craig's List and found it for $20. Perfect! Sure it's used, but he doesn't notice at all. I took him to go get it the other Saturday morning and after the guy put it in our car, Miles ran up and gave him a hug around the knees, exclaiming "Thank you for giving us your bike!". It was too too cute. When we got home, Ahmad got it all fixed up with the Spiderman seat and training wheels it came with and Miles rode for about 10 minutes before deciding it was too cold! After his nap, Ahmad took him to a local pizza and arcade place to celebrate his great month at school. They had a wonderful time and were gone for hours! Hailey and I went shopping for some clothes that would actually fit me. A good time was had by all!


Last week, Miles' whole class moved to a new room with a new teacher (same assistant). His old teacher had left right around the time he started being really good after his birthday. This new room is actually a room he'd been in before and a teacher he'd had before. It was actually the room where most of the trouble started last summer. We were vary weary, but so far, he's doing ok. He had one day with a little trouble last week and didn't do well at nap time today, but overall, he seems to be ok. It's the same group of kids, so that's good. And he really likes his assistant. We are so proud of him and he's learning so so much! It's pretty funny, we were talking about how good he's been and he stated again that when he was 3, he was bad. He went on to list everything he'd done when he was 3, "Remember last day? When I was 3? I hit, I kick, I bite, I throw things, I say Shut Up, I say B****, I say Shut the F*** Up, etc. ?" It was actually pretty funny, but very unfortunate he remembers all those things still!

The Children's Museum with the Kleins

This weekend, he decided he wanted to make a special dessert and chose to make chocolate cake with white icing, sprinkles, chocolate chips and marshmallows. He calls it the Marshmallow Cake. :) He's been into playing like he's a kitty again lately, but likes to say he's a kitty in school and I'm the teacher. Ahmad is the big teacher up front. He often plays out getting hurt in the class and someone having to get in trouble and go up front to the big teacher. He's also been pretending to be a baby and when I ask him who he is, he says Baby Clark! I love this because we still haven't even met Clark yet. We want to so bad, but just haven't been able to get out to CT. We can't wait to see him soon!


Miles has always been a sensitive child, very snuggly and loving. He's begun to show more compassion and empathy lately too. He's very very good with his sister, such a great big brother! He looks out for her and tries to help her and wants to "keep her safe". He was even whispering in her ear yesterday how he was going to Keep her Safe. She just looked right back at him and smiled and laughed like she knew just what he was talking about and she loved him for it. It was quite precious. Then this morning, he was having pains in his booty, having to go to the bathroom. He went and started talking to me about them again. I told him that sometimes that happens and he replied, "I hope that doesn't happen to you or daddy or Hailey. That hurts and I don't want you to hurt". While it was comical we were talking about our booties hurting while going potty, it was very very sweet that he was considering others' feelings. Maybe 4 is the magic number...

Hailey loved stringing her bday balloons all over the house!

Lauren digging into her 2nd birthday cake!

Hailey is such a growing little girl! She's into so much these days, everyday something new. She will pick up the smallest thing from the ground, come find me, and give it to me. This morning, she found one of those plastic pieces that holds a tag onto clothes in the store. Thankfully, she's also good about spitting things out. She will put something her mouth, look at me because she knows she's not supposed to, walk over to me and spit it in my hand. Lol! She is also into throwing things away in the trash. She will get a tissue, pretend to blow her nose or wipe off her hands, and take off for the trash can. It's super cute. I remember Miles going through this stage too, and soon we had to begin watching the trash for things that weren't trash! So far, I don't think she's thrown anything but trash away, but we'll have to be on the lookout. She's such a helper at the store as well. The other day, she got quite upset while we were grocery shopping only to discover it was because she wanted to help! I would hand her something and she would put it in the cart. She's a great helper!

Laundry basket rides are always a hit!

Tonight, we were changing Miles' sheets and Hailey CLIMBED UP ONTO MILES' BED ALL BY HERSELF! We couldn't believe it! We knew she was a mover and a groover, climbing on everything, but sheesh! That's a big climb! She loves his bed so much though. She loves to get up there and crawl around and lay on the pillows and blankets. She also loves to play with Miles up there. On Sunday, she woke up from her nap before Miles and we had to continually keep her from opening his door. Finally, it was time to wake him up. We were in the living room and I asked her "Hailey, do you want to go wake up Miles?" She looked at me with the biggest grin on her face, got down off me, and ran to his room. It was so cute! Her favorite game lately as well has been climbing on and over Miles' little chair. It's a soft armed chair, his size. She loves to climb up into it and "jump" off. She will also turn it over and climb over it. Her and Miles are always climbing and jumping (well, Hailey can't quite jump yet, but she sure is trying!).

Hailey loves to wear silly things on her head! Where's the party mama?!

Hailey is also learning some of the body parts. She loves to practice with my face and now we're working on other parts as well as her face. She will "woof woof" at doggies on TV or in books, even at Miles' stuffed dog. She will also make a fish noise (a loud pucker of the lips) and thinks its very funny. She learned to sign "help" yesterday and has been using it all the time. She's done quite well using it and when I remind her "say Help, say Help Mommy", she will sign Help and say Mama! :) So proud! She so cute-she makes this face where she puckers up her little lips and just walks around. She does this all the time and it makes me laugh!

An empty box also provides an evening's entertainment

Hailey is still nursing as well, although we are working on weaning. I'm no longer pumping at work since they aren't giving it to her at daycare anymore. We have some in the freezer still though and are giving it to her in sippy cups. She had dropped her morning nursing last week, but now this week, she's back at it. I need to really work on her weaning, but I'm a sucker. She doesn't seem quite ready yet, although very close. I thought she was extremely close the other week, but now she seems like she's back to doing really well and asking for it. She had even stopped signing Milk and signed Eat instead last week, but now she's signing Milk again. And honestly, it's easier not to wean! Soon, soon, we'll get there. My babies are growing up....

Goal!!!

Yesterday, I reached my Weight Watchers goal! In the last 11 months, I've lost 62.8 pounds. Now, I did take about a 2 1/2 month hiatus that I'm not too proud of, but nonetheless, I made it. I am 82 pounds lighter than when I was full term with Hailey and 97 pounds lighter than when I was full term with Miles. Wow. Almost 100 pounds?! I know I had another human being inside of me, but still. Gracious that's a lot of weight! And you know what? I feel fantastic. I feel healthier and better about myself than I ever have. I feel confident and comfortable in my skin. I'm not trying to cover myself up or worrying about what others think about me. I'm not second guessing myself. And this confidence goes further than just my appearance; it carries over into everything I'm doing. I'm training for the mini-marathon in May and I feel confident about running. That isn't something I would have ever imagined I would be doing. But I am. And it's because I lost weight. And my joints don't ache and my lungs feel clear. It's amazing.

Before

After

You know why I started Weight Watchers in the first place? It's not because I wanted to be "skinny" or popular or get a date or a boy to like me. It goes so much deeper than just my appearance (although that is a nice side effect! And on another side note-it takes a while to look at yourself differently, smaller. That's hard to do after being overweight all your life). I started it because I was tired of being overweight and trying fad or crash diets only to put the weight right back on. I also wanted to lose weight because it was time. I was a mom and a wife and I had more to think about than just myself. When I first started, I didn't have Hailey yet. I was 1 pound away from my 10% when I found out I was pregnant with her. I quit the program and honestly could not wait to get started again. The week after my 6-week postpartum checkup, I rejoined. I was even more motivated than the first time. Now I had 2 kids to keep up with. I joined because I have always been overweight, but never learned how to do anything about it. I never learned what healthy eating was. I never learned how to stay active. I was an active child-swimming, dancing, riding my bike and playing outside, but somehow, that wasn't enough. I didn't know the foods that were good for you and the foods to avoid. Sure, I knew the basics, the ones everyone knows, but that wasn't enough for me. It was time to learn. I'm the head grocery shopper in my house and if I bring home foods that are healthier, my family is going to benefit without ever realizing it or it being an issue. My children are going to grow up eating healthier and in turn, hopefully making healthier decisions for themselves when they are old enough to do that. My husband may live longer because of the choices I make at the grocery store. I knew it was time to learn how to eat. Not only for myself, but for my family. You know what else? I've seen how your health can affect your life and the lives of those around you. Both what good health can bring and what ill health can bring. You don't have too much control over your health, but there are some things you can do to improve your chances and this is what I'm doing with my chances. If I can help it, I don't want Ahmad to have to take care of me or worry about me in my old age. And if he needs it, I want to be there to take care of him. I want to keep up with my children in their activities and help them practice soccer or swimming or tennis. I want to climb the stairs in the stands to cheer them on as they run the bases or are on top of the cheerleader pyramid. I want to be able to play with their children, pick them up, carry them around, snuggle them and love them. I want to go to their practices and games and cheer them on. I want to be around for as long as possible and I don't want to miss out on what is most important in my life during that time. That's why I did it. And that's why it's going to stick. I've been doing this for 11 months now and I've got it down pretty good. I know I still slip up from time to time, but that's allowed. What is important is that I get back on track and make it right again. It's a necessity that I keep this weight off. You know I grew up with asthma? And I'm training for a mini-marathon and haven't used an inhaler once? I don't know if I just grew out of it or what happened, as my usage has decreased over the years, but I have to think this has helped.



If you have never been overweight, it might be hard for you to understand why this is such a battle for some people. Food is everywhere. You have to eat to stay alive. There's no way around it. It's not enough for some of us to say "Well, I just won't eat as much". It's not that easy to control all the time. And once you are overweight, it's hard to decide it's time to lose the weight. I was 30 when I very first started Weight Watchers. That's probably 28 years of being overweight. Yes, I knew I was overweight all that time and sometimes I did try to do something about it, but obviously it didn't stick. It takes a lot to admit that you need to lose weight. It takes a lot to admit that you need help to lose weight. I've come to realize that Weight Watchers is a support group of sorts. I never thought I would need a support group for anything. But I do. And I'm ok with that now. I wasn't always before. It's hard to admit you can't do something alone or that it needs done in the first place. And it's a hard thing to do-lose weight. It's something that you have to think about every day. Several times a day or more. It's something I think about constantly. What am I going to eat for breakfast? When am I going to eat it? What about a snack? Do I need one? What will I have? What should I pack for lunch? What time should I eat? Do I need another snack? Am I really hungry? What about dinner? Are we going out? What will I order? Is Ahmad cooking? What is he putting in it? What if I'm still hungry? Is it too late for a snack before bed? I'm telling you, it's constant. But it's easier now. It's manageable. I'm in control now and I know how to stay in control.

From a size 16 to a size 6!

You know what my two favorite things were after I lost a good bit of weight? I think I'd lost over 30 pounds when I noticed the bone structure in my face as I washed it. I love washing my face now. I can feel my cheekbones and my jaw line. I never could before. It feels good. And I discovered that I could cross my arms across my mid-section. I never could do that when I was heavier, at least not comfortably. There are such little things that people who are overweight don't experience or have a different experience about, it's amazing.

So, here's a cheer for me. I'm tooting my own horn. I did it and now I just have to keep it up. When I need a pep talk, I can come here and remember why. That's all I'm going to need-the most important people in my life need me just as much as I need them. They are the reason for living and the reason for taking care of myself.

Fun to be One!

Well, now that Hailey is one, there has been an explosion of new things she can do! I can't believe she's this big!

• She loves to be upside down! She likes for me to pick her up by her hips and hang her upside down. Tonight, every time I put her down, she cried. And she loves to stand with her feet apart and put her head down on the floor, looking between her legs. She does this all the time!
• She loves to dance. Any beat, anywhere, she's bopping away!
  
• She eats suckers. I know, probably not the best thing for a 1 year old to be eating, but she does. Now, I specifically remember a friend (Gretchen and John!) offering Miles a sucker when he was past 2 and he didn't know what it was. Somehow, Hailey has learned already! And she will sit and suck it until it's gone.
• Hailey has learned how to give high-fives! She's not super consistent yet, but does them pretty well.
• She LOVES to give zerberts! She actually learned this while nursing (yeah, that's right, while nursing!) and thinks it's hilarious. I have to admit, it is pretty funny, but I try to deter it! However, she now will also zerbert other places-cheeks, arm, neck, etc. It's quite funny and it cracks her up!
• She's still into carrying things all around. And usually they are things to put in her mouth-tubes, toys, toothbrushes, you name it and she tries! She especially loves her toothbrush and case. She has also recently discovered her paci that's been on her dresser for the past year because she doesn't use it. She likes to grab it and chew on it for a short time.
• She's into her babies! I think this is so adorable. She likes to pick them up and give them hugs and pats on the back. She'll offer the baby to us and expects us to do the same. She has begun offering them a bottle and sometimes a spoon or pretend food. So cute to see this develop!
• She loves to come into the bathroom and see what she can get into. She especially likes to get into the toilet paper (even taking a new roll out of the holder we have) and tear off little bitty pieces. For some reason, she first tries to put it in the bathtub. Then, she likes to put it in her mouth. All I can think when she does this is that she's going to end up on My Strange Addiction on TLC. We saw an episode where someone was addicted to eating toilet paper....
• She likes to blow her nose! She loves to have tissue and pretend to blow her nose. She also thinks it's pretty funny!
• She likes pickles. Yup, pickles. That's all she ate for dinner last night.

She is so so loveable! Hailey loves to give hugs and kisses. She's been especially affectionate the last several days to the point where she has tackled Miles giving him hugs. It's too too adorable and I love LOVE every one of them! It also still melts my heart when she finds my free hand while nursing and puts it on the side of her head and puts her hand over mine. It's almost like she's asking for me to hold her closer. Yes, she's still nursing. But, she's about done. She doesn't take a bottle or now any breastmilk at all at school anymore. I'm still pumping, but only once a day and only for another week or so. So, she nurses about 3-5 times a day depending on how many times she's up at night. But, she's getting increasingly distracted during the day, so we'll see how much longer that goes on. It's very bittersweet to think she's about done. I can't believe my sweet little baby girl is 1...and so much fun!

Reading to Daddy

Just Beat It!

Not your ordinary Nana!

Happy Love Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Thank you for loving me and for allowing me to love you. You all hold such a special place in my heart. You know who you are!