Goal!!!

Yesterday, I reached my Weight Watchers goal! In the last 11 months, I've lost 62.8 pounds. Now, I did take about a 2 1/2 month hiatus that I'm not too proud of, but nonetheless, I made it. I am 82 pounds lighter than when I was full term with Hailey and 97 pounds lighter than when I was full term with Miles. Wow. Almost 100 pounds?! I know I had another human being inside of me, but still. Gracious that's a lot of weight! And you know what? I feel fantastic. I feel healthier and better about myself than I ever have. I feel confident and comfortable in my skin. I'm not trying to cover myself up or worrying about what others think about me. I'm not second guessing myself. And this confidence goes further than just my appearance; it carries over into everything I'm doing. I'm training for the mini-marathon in May and I feel confident about running. That isn't something I would have ever imagined I would be doing. But I am. And it's because I lost weight. And my joints don't ache and my lungs feel clear. It's amazing.

Before

After

You know why I started Weight Watchers in the first place? It's not because I wanted to be "skinny" or popular or get a date or a boy to like me. It goes so much deeper than just my appearance (although that is a nice side effect! And on another side note-it takes a while to look at yourself differently, smaller. That's hard to do after being overweight all your life). I started it because I was tired of being overweight and trying fad or crash diets only to put the weight right back on. I also wanted to lose weight because it was time. I was a mom and a wife and I had more to think about than just myself. When I first started, I didn't have Hailey yet. I was 1 pound away from my 10% when I found out I was pregnant with her. I quit the program and honestly could not wait to get started again. The week after my 6-week postpartum checkup, I rejoined. I was even more motivated than the first time. Now I had 2 kids to keep up with. I joined because I have always been overweight, but never learned how to do anything about it. I never learned what healthy eating was. I never learned how to stay active. I was an active child-swimming, dancing, riding my bike and playing outside, but somehow, that wasn't enough. I didn't know the foods that were good for you and the foods to avoid. Sure, I knew the basics, the ones everyone knows, but that wasn't enough for me. It was time to learn. I'm the head grocery shopper in my house and if I bring home foods that are healthier, my family is going to benefit without ever realizing it or it being an issue. My children are going to grow up eating healthier and in turn, hopefully making healthier decisions for themselves when they are old enough to do that. My husband may live longer because of the choices I make at the grocery store. I knew it was time to learn how to eat. Not only for myself, but for my family. You know what else? I've seen how your health can affect your life and the lives of those around you. Both what good health can bring and what ill health can bring. You don't have too much control over your health, but there are some things you can do to improve your chances and this is what I'm doing with my chances. If I can help it, I don't want Ahmad to have to take care of me or worry about me in my old age. And if he needs it, I want to be there to take care of him. I want to keep up with my children in their activities and help them practice soccer or swimming or tennis. I want to climb the stairs in the stands to cheer them on as they run the bases or are on top of the cheerleader pyramid. I want to be able to play with their children, pick them up, carry them around, snuggle them and love them. I want to go to their practices and games and cheer them on. I want to be around for as long as possible and I don't want to miss out on what is most important in my life during that time. That's why I did it. And that's why it's going to stick. I've been doing this for 11 months now and I've got it down pretty good. I know I still slip up from time to time, but that's allowed. What is important is that I get back on track and make it right again. It's a necessity that I keep this weight off. You know I grew up with asthma? And I'm training for a mini-marathon and haven't used an inhaler once? I don't know if I just grew out of it or what happened, as my usage has decreased over the years, but I have to think this has helped.



If you have never been overweight, it might be hard for you to understand why this is such a battle for some people. Food is everywhere. You have to eat to stay alive. There's no way around it. It's not enough for some of us to say "Well, I just won't eat as much". It's not that easy to control all the time. And once you are overweight, it's hard to decide it's time to lose the weight. I was 30 when I very first started Weight Watchers. That's probably 28 years of being overweight. Yes, I knew I was overweight all that time and sometimes I did try to do something about it, but obviously it didn't stick. It takes a lot to admit that you need to lose weight. It takes a lot to admit that you need help to lose weight. I've come to realize that Weight Watchers is a support group of sorts. I never thought I would need a support group for anything. But I do. And I'm ok with that now. I wasn't always before. It's hard to admit you can't do something alone or that it needs done in the first place. And it's a hard thing to do-lose weight. It's something that you have to think about every day. Several times a day or more. It's something I think about constantly. What am I going to eat for breakfast? When am I going to eat it? What about a snack? Do I need one? What will I have? What should I pack for lunch? What time should I eat? Do I need another snack? Am I really hungry? What about dinner? Are we going out? What will I order? Is Ahmad cooking? What is he putting in it? What if I'm still hungry? Is it too late for a snack before bed? I'm telling you, it's constant. But it's easier now. It's manageable. I'm in control now and I know how to stay in control.

From a size 16 to a size 6!

You know what my two favorite things were after I lost a good bit of weight? I think I'd lost over 30 pounds when I noticed the bone structure in my face as I washed it. I love washing my face now. I can feel my cheekbones and my jaw line. I never could before. It feels good. And I discovered that I could cross my arms across my mid-section. I never could do that when I was heavier, at least not comfortably. There are such little things that people who are overweight don't experience or have a different experience about, it's amazing.

So, here's a cheer for me. I'm tooting my own horn. I did it and now I just have to keep it up. When I need a pep talk, I can come here and remember why. That's all I'm going to need-the most important people in my life need me just as much as I need them. They are the reason for living and the reason for taking care of myself.

Fun to be One!

Well, now that Hailey is one, there has been an explosion of new things she can do! I can't believe she's this big!

• She loves to be upside down! She likes for me to pick her up by her hips and hang her upside down. Tonight, every time I put her down, she cried. And she loves to stand with her feet apart and put her head down on the floor, looking between her legs. She does this all the time!
• She loves to dance. Any beat, anywhere, she's bopping away!
  
• She eats suckers. I know, probably not the best thing for a 1 year old to be eating, but she does. Now, I specifically remember a friend (Gretchen and John!) offering Miles a sucker when he was past 2 and he didn't know what it was. Somehow, Hailey has learned already! And she will sit and suck it until it's gone.
• Hailey has learned how to give high-fives! She's not super consistent yet, but does them pretty well.
• She LOVES to give zerberts! She actually learned this while nursing (yeah, that's right, while nursing!) and thinks it's hilarious. I have to admit, it is pretty funny, but I try to deter it! However, she now will also zerbert other places-cheeks, arm, neck, etc. It's quite funny and it cracks her up!
• She's still into carrying things all around. And usually they are things to put in her mouth-tubes, toys, toothbrushes, you name it and she tries! She especially loves her toothbrush and case. She has also recently discovered her paci that's been on her dresser for the past year because she doesn't use it. She likes to grab it and chew on it for a short time.
• She's into her babies! I think this is so adorable. She likes to pick them up and give them hugs and pats on the back. She'll offer the baby to us and expects us to do the same. She has begun offering them a bottle and sometimes a spoon or pretend food. So cute to see this develop!
• She loves to come into the bathroom and see what she can get into. She especially likes to get into the toilet paper (even taking a new roll out of the holder we have) and tear off little bitty pieces. For some reason, she first tries to put it in the bathtub. Then, she likes to put it in her mouth. All I can think when she does this is that she's going to end up on My Strange Addiction on TLC. We saw an episode where someone was addicted to eating toilet paper....
• She likes to blow her nose! She loves to have tissue and pretend to blow her nose. She also thinks it's pretty funny!
• She likes pickles. Yup, pickles. That's all she ate for dinner last night.

She is so so loveable! Hailey loves to give hugs and kisses. She's been especially affectionate the last several days to the point where she has tackled Miles giving him hugs. It's too too adorable and I love LOVE every one of them! It also still melts my heart when she finds my free hand while nursing and puts it on the side of her head and puts her hand over mine. It's almost like she's asking for me to hold her closer. Yes, she's still nursing. But, she's about done. She doesn't take a bottle or now any breastmilk at all at school anymore. I'm still pumping, but only once a day and only for another week or so. So, she nurses about 3-5 times a day depending on how many times she's up at night. But, she's getting increasingly distracted during the day, so we'll see how much longer that goes on. It's very bittersweet to think she's about done. I can't believe my sweet little baby girl is 1...and so much fun!

Reading to Daddy

Just Beat It!

Not your ordinary Nana!

Happy Love Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Thank you for loving me and for allowing me to love you. You all hold such a special place in my heart. You know who you are!

Now for the 1000 Words

It's been a busy time this last month! Christmas came and went and then we were getting ready for the kids birthdays. #1 and #4, both big years! We decided to host a party for the dashing duo at Bounce U, a local bounce house place that has private parties. We'd never been before, but it sounded like fun and a lot less work for us, so we signed up. We had a nice turnout, but did miss some of our special friends and family at the celebration. When we got home, we celebrated some more and then 2 days later, some more as it was Hailey's actual birthday. So, we had a 4 day celebration (Friday at school for Miles, then Miles' actual birthday and party for both, Sunday we had family over and lots of cake left over, and then Monday Hailey took cookies to school and had cake after dinner). Good times!

Miles got some new books from Grandma for his birthday and is learning to read! I had talked to her about it last time we visited since she's a teacher and works with the young ones/ones that are a bit behind their peers. Miles has been following along in the books we read, sounding letters and words out and memorizing books for a while now. We agreed he was probably ready. With my BOB set ready, we hit book #1. It was an instant hit. He did great! Now, 2 weeks later, we are on the 3rd book in the series. No, he's not reading perfectly, but I sure am impressed. He's doing awesome, reading on his own, sounding out words, and being excited. I think that's the most important thing-he's excited about reading. When I was a child, I loved to read. Loved it! I remember reading at night with my parents, alternating chapters when I was old enough to read chapter books, and then when I was on my own, staying up for hours reading under my covers. I'd finish half a book on the way home from the book store. I read and read and read. Not only did I really enjoy it and the imagination it helped me develop, the new lands and far off places to dream about, but I think that might have been a big key to my success in school. I always excelled in school and it honestly wasn't a big effort for me. Of course there were struggles along the way (ahem, algebra 2, chemistry, geometry!), but overall, it was a good academic experience. So, I'm excited that Miles is excited and perhaps this will be a good start to his academic career.

Hailey cracks me up, as usual! I always worry that her food is too hot for her, so I almost always blow on it then test it with my tongue before offering it to her. Well, now she does that too! She likes to blow on all her food before putting it tentatively in her mouth. Silly girl! She also makes this funny face all the time. She does an "O" with her mouth and almost puckers her cheeks when she's up to something or thinks something is funny. It's too cute! She's recently started a new look where she will furry her brow and scrunch her eye like she's really thinking hard or trying to look intimidating. Too funny!

Last week we had a major ice storm and actually had the city pretty much shut down for 2 days. We had about 2 inches of ice followed by about 3-4 inches of snow a few days later. The daycare was closed for the first time ever and my work was closed too. The local public schools were closed the rest of the week, with the kids only going to school on Monday. I can't say that I really minded. 2 extra days in the middle of the week to spend with Ahmad and the kids? OK by me! We had a nice time and just enjoyed being home and not having to run all over the place. Over the weekend, the weather warmed up some and the plows finally came through the neighborhood. We got our neighbors Elliott and Meredith out of the house on Sunday afternoon and played for quite some time. They had a ball on top of the snow plowed pile of snow! It provided a wonderful spot to climb up and throw snowballs off of. Then they made slides down the side and had a blast sledding down the short fast hill. Hailey got in on the action in the sled on the grass and the icy street. She loved eating the snow and couldn't get enough of it. That reminds me, she's in to eating ice from my water these days too! I remember Miles used to do that too...

Prior to the snow play with the neighbors, we enjoyed an almost surprise visit from Nana! She called Saturday evening wanting to know if she could visit on Sunday. Of course! We had a great time just hanging out and Miles loved showing off all his toys! He has really been into the Michael Jackson Experience Wii game where you dance to Michael's moves and somehow he got Nana to play with him! It was great! I don't think I've ever seen her dance close to that before and it was quite fun.

Hailey is also into throwing some tantrums now. She started practicing right before her first birthday and they are in full effect now. If she doesn't get her way or what she wants, she can throw a fit! Sometimes it's just crying, but sometimes it's the arching of the back or my favorite, throwing herself face down on the ground and actually kicking her legs while screaming. It's kind of comical just in the fact that I can't believe she's old enough to be doing that! Miles had tantrums, heck, he still does sometimes, but I don't think he ever did the stereotypical throw-yourself-on-the-floor-flail-around-and-scream kind. On that note, I will also say that Miles has been doing so awesome at school lately! (knock on wood!) He did pretty well the second week of January, getting in trouble, but responding to the reprimands much much better than in the recent past. Then, he just started listening and not throwing fits. He's had 2 awesome weeks in a row now and all together, a really good month. It's great! The only thing we can really connect to is that his main teach left about a month ago...I talked to the assistant today when I picked Miles up and said that Miles had been doing so well, what had changed or what was he doing different? He stated 'nothing!'. I said, well, whatever it was, good work and keep it up! However, the other week I had said to Miles after picking him up on Friday "Miles, you did so well at school this week, I'm so proud of you!" and he said "that's cause I'm 4 now. When you're 4, you just listen and be good." It was too cute, but the secret at last! Aha! So far so good, so I'll take it!

Hailey loves to carry things around with her now. It can be anything, as long as it's something. She loves to take the cream for her scar off the shelf and hold it, or put it in her mouth (lid tightly shut, thank you!). She does this with any tube, letters from the bathtub, socks, drum sticks, and recently, her stuffed Curious George. She seems to really like George. It's too cute to see her go in her room and come back hugging George tightly around the neck. Then she will offer George to you to hug and hold on to while she runs off to something else. Well, the other day I was changing her and she dropped the coveted scar cream behind the changing table. So, I hollered for Ahmad to come help me while I continued to change her. Sweet Miles came running back and asked why Hailey was crying. I told him that she dropped something and he said 'Oh! I thought she got hurt again. I paused my show and came to see if my baby was ok!' He is just so sweet! That is very similar to what happened when she ended up in the ER-her crying and me yelling for Ahmad. I can totally see why he thought that and I thought it was so sweet he was worried about her! He worries about her all the time. He is such a sweet big brother, always wanting to "keep her safe" and make sure she's ok. He does a great job sharing with her and finding things for her to eat or play with. Such a sweetpea!

Monday morning we took the kids to the doctor for their annual checkup. Everything went really well. Miles did great and talked to the doctor and cooperated perfectly. The funniest thing was when the doctor was assessing him and we were not answering to see what he would say. She was asking if he could see birds and airplanes (eye sight) and if he could hear Hailey cry (hearing), does he wear a pull up at night, when does he brush his teeth, etc. He did a great job answering everything! Then she asked him what he liked to eat. I was sure he was going to say chips or pizza. But no! He said "Carrots. And broccoli." ! Ha! I couldn't believe it! We just laughed and I told her that I promised we didn't rehearse that one! So both the kids checked out just fine. Miles weighed in at 37 pounds and almost 39 inches tall, falling into the 40th and 75th percentiles. Hailey weighed just over 19 pounds and was 29 inches long, falling into the 60th and 25th percentiles. Miles and Hailey were just about the same size when they were both 1. We also discovered in addition to the fresh new cold and cough Hailey had gotten over the weekend, that she has another ear infection in her left ear. Back on the antibiotics and this time, also a pro-biotic to hopefully keep the diarrhea away. We'll see how that goes!

On a few other side notes, my dad is home from his week's stay in the hospital. So happy to say that! He's always in and out and in and out, I don't usually post about his stints. But I am very glad that he's home and seemingly doing really well. Keep it up dad! And Ahmad lost his job back in January. He immediately began interviewing with another company and after 3 interviews and a month's time, they decided not to move forward anymore. We are pretty disappointed, but hoping God's plan comes through soon. We know His plan is much better than ours, just trying to keep the faith and trust Him. Trying to Let Go and Let God.

Worth a 1000 Words

Having Fun in Iowa

All Sweetness!

Celebrating!

Smiles with Daddy!

Baking Birthday Cupcakes for Hailey

They turned out pretty cute!

Bouncing Around at Hailey and Miles' Party

Uncle Jamal Slip Sliding Away

Climbing Around with Meredith

The Birthday Boy!

Celebrating!

Hailey Loved her Birthday Cupcakes!

The Birthday King!

Dancing to Michael Jackson

Trying a Ponytail for the First Time

Hailey's 1st Birthday!

Ahmad Tried to Paint Hailey's Toes...He Got the Big Ones!

Our Ice Storm Shut Down Everything for 2 Days

Our Little Devil!

They Love the Michael Jackson Experience

Family Pics, Hailey's 1st Birthday, and Miles' 4th Birthday

Nana Came to Play!

And She Danced to Michael Jackson too!

Watch Out Mom!

Ahmad's 1st Snowman

Going for a Ride

Fun with Elliott and Meredith

Now that's a Big Snowball!