I Never Understood

I Never Understood...

• Why my mom never bought herself new clothes, but instead always insisted on buying me things
• The entertainment my mom got from watching "ironing shows" (i.e. HGTV and Home and Gardening shows)
• Why my parents were so concerned about my whereabouts and my safety. I mean, I knew where I was and that I was safe. I'm already nervous just thinking about letting Miles and Hailey do things on their own!
• I never thought about my parents worrying about supporting us or being able to let us take a class or attend a camp
  
• I never thought that my parents might enjoy my brothers and I getting along or even look at us fondly and smile when we were nice to each other. I just thought they didn't want to hear us argue
• I never thought about continuing to be around for your children. I always heard it was hard to have your children pass before you; I can only imagine the heartache and pain that would involve. I think it would also be very hard to pass before them and not be around to ensure they know your love, see them grow, and see them happy. I can't imagine it either way and they both scare me.
• You want to give your children everything
• The need for my parents to stay up to catch the late night news, or any news for that matter
• The partnership and trust in each other that comes with being married and embarking on a wonderful journey together
  
• Why I couldn't have "just 5 more minutes" when I was little. I remember this vividly. I often wanted 5 more minutes of cuddling with my parents and in my head, it was truly wanting just 5 more minutes. I try so hard to give that to Miles when he asks, but sometimes you do just have to say enough is enough and it's time for bed (or school, or jammies, or whatever it is that is being delayed)
• That you truly can love someone so much you cry just seeing them smile
• You might daydream about what your children will want to do and be when they grow up. What pastimes, hobbies, interests, and talents they will develop.
• That you really can beam with pride in your children.
• That your heart really can feel like it might burst from loving your children so much or that it might break to pieces when they are upset.

I never understood what being a parent meant and entailed, both the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, until now. And I'm sure this is only the beginning and so much more will be revealed to me in the coming years. I only know that this is one of the most amazing adventures I've been on and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.